happy fall...though it doesn't feel like fall here...

maybe i'm the only crazy person that feels this way, but here goes. i LOVE fall. i wanted to get married in the fall because it's my favorite season. i like the changing seasons. i remember being a freshman at a&m (yes, a&m) and thinking for the first time that i love seeing things change. it's a time for reflecting, reminiscing, for being nostalgic. something about the change from hot, humid summer days in texas to cooler ones always makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. when the seasons changed, it was a signal for me that we were in the thick of school - i somehow felt more intelligent or something similar (though maybe it was the cute clothes, jackets, and scarves that initiated this feeling).

i've been feeling utterly nostalgic and missing the changing seasons. at the beginning of october, the weather completely teased me and made me feel like san diego has an alternate temperature than "perfect" all the time. [disclaimer: don't take this as me complaining. i'll explain why i'm going into this later.] it was chilly. we couldn't wear beach ready clothes - a few people were pulling out their cute pea coats. but now, it's back to normal - same 70-something degree weather every day.

no, i'm not complaining about the weather. ultimately, i'm missing home. or i'm missing that signal that goes off when the seasons are changing that make me excited for christmas and thanksgiving. for going shopping with my mom or all the michalk ladies. for pumpkin spiced lattes from starbucks. for pea coats and boots. for lighting candles that smell like sugar cookies baking in the oven. the weather here provides no indication that any of the aforementioned things are coming. it just feels like time is passing.

a few weeks ago, i had FIVE people to ask me if i was okay. not just, "hey, how are you?" but..."what's going on with you? you're not yourself. are you sure you're alright?" not all of them were directly - some of them were emails. i didn't know what was wrong. i knew i felt different and mentally just didn't feel like me. but i didn't know WHY. i think it all has to do with everything i just talked about. i'm starting to really get the itch to go back home for christmas and see everyone (and have a break from work). but my environment is not giving me any sort of indication that christmas is coming.

okay, moving on. new subject.

i'm sure you're all aware that our economy is bad and getting worse. we had our monthly meeting today and we had a presentation based on our fiscal 2008 year and how we did, how we're projected to do, and how the economy is projected to affect us. i have to share with you that i'm SCARED. things are still looking okay for us as a company, but seeing where our company was between 2001 and 2003 - which was on some of the slides, but not directly talked about - is sad. that's where we're going again. hard times are coming.

my friend angela's firm in dallas has laid off one round of people. a second round is said to happen again. a firm here in san diego laid off 12 people. everyone that stayed was required to take a 10% pay cut if they wanted to keep their job. i was offered a job at angela's firm. i applied/interviewed at the other firm here that laid off people. but i'm at gensler. if you can, please just continually send up prayers that i will continue to do well at my job, that i will do it to the best of my ability, and that i won't lose my job. i feel like my heart is really vested in this company, so being laid off would break me. i have to be honest with myself - i've only been here 3 months, so it's always a possibility.

on the flip side, dustyn's job is going really well. he's recently been given new responsibilities and ask to coordinate some new projects. he's taking it really seriously and has been working later days, trying to show them he's excited and serious about his new responsibilities. this is the first time that he's really been a "lead" on a project because up until now, he's been considered to have less experience. i'm not sure what the technical term for that is. i'm very proud of him - he's handling the whole situation well (working from home) and keeping up with his work.

we've let camy experience something new - for her and for us. we took her to dog beach. yes, there is a beach here dedicated solely to dogs (and owners). we went with nicole and her dog malden and roomate's dog bella. she let them roam free and run like the wind along the beach. they had a ton of fun.

we had camy on a leash.

until nicole told us to let her off and see how she would do. there wasn't anywhere she could escape to and she's deathly afraid of the cold water, so we let her go. camy was in dog heaven. she didn't care to play with any of the other dogs, but she liked sniffing them and running around. we've taken her a second time and dustyn and i pulled her into the water. as soon as she saw it coming, she pulled a 180 and ran the other way. so then we held her in the water - of course not too deep - so that she would know it's not bad or deadly.

okay...enough of an update for now. i have other things to discuss, but i've gotta jet.

xoxoxoxox