Back at it...

Here I am. It's the middle of the afternoon. I've had a fairly productive day of work, but I just can't focus at the moment. Nearly everything is bringing me to tears today.

I saw a man on his bicycle riding uphill along Parmer Lane today. It was windy and cold outside. He was old. I just thought about how I wanted to help him get where he needed to be without potentially catching a cold.  I thought about how fortunate I am to have a car.

Then a song played on KLove and I was driving along the road, passing through a Jiffy Lube fighting every urge in my body that just wanted to release tears. The words just kept playing through my mind.

If we've gotta start somewhere, why not here?
If we've gotta start sometime, why not now?


I think those are the lyrics anyway. All the imagery they bring up in my mind is holding me back from looking them up for fear I might start crying again.

I watched The Proposal, or rather listened to it, while I sat here and worked.  I got so sad that Sandra Bullock's character was going to be deported, lose her job, and the man she had fallen in love with.  I missed my husband so much. Sometimes I just miss him when he's at work.

And now, here I am listening to Notting Hill and editing wedding images. Notting Hill is a fun, sweet movie, but they keep playing sappy love songs that nearly bring me to tears. And as I sit here editing their wedding images, I just can't help but see how happy this bride was. She lost her father and cried as she walked down the aisle. She did her the father/daughter dance with her only brother instead. She held back tears all throughout the night.

I don't know what is going on in my head right now, but I'm just a little overwhelmed with my workload. A little overwhelmed by all the impending changes that will happen soon...

-moving to our new house {I admit, I'm sad to leave my neighborhood and being next door to one of my best friends.}
-a new year, new business changes {just questioning some of the decisions I'm making and I'm unsure if they're the right way to go}
-trying to figure out what in the heck God wants to use me for

I haven't had the chance to just open up about my life lately on my work blog. Maybe I'll try this again and come here to shout things from the rooftop. Sometimes I work so much that I just don't get to tell anyone what's going on. Sometimes it's hard to put it all into words. Especially since I'm not sure why I'm so emotional today. Well, yes I do. Sometimes it just sucks to be a girl with crazy hormones.